There’s very little I want to engage about, in public, with strangers I don’t know. But there are some things I don’t mind getting asked about in public. . .
At my local indy bookstore yesterday to pick up a book I’d ordered for my dad and to ask about a novel I didn’t see.
“Did you say _The Covenant of Water_?” a random woman said from somewhere over my right shoulder.
Photo by Daniel via Unsplash
I turned around to see a well dressed older lady in her early 70’s with a cute bob and metal framed cats eye glasses immediately behind me. A minute before she had been in the front of the store, perusing one of the wide tables with fresh new fiction. Now, this woman was kissing distance next to me.
“Yes,” I said.
“I LOVE that book! One of the saddest and best books I have ever read.” she replied, looking directly at me.
“Me too!” I replied.
We looked at each other for a moment, relishing a different kind of missed connection. Not love or attraction in a sexual sense but the shared pleasure of books in common. A fraction of a second later, she turned and walked to the back of the store.
What about you? Do you love it when people comment on your retro Red Sox cap? Or what about when they see your “If you can’t be kind, be quiet” tee and say something shyly to you about it? What do you want to be asked about in public? Or don’t mind talking about with a total stranger?
So funny this is the Friday Q...I was just saying to my storytelling class last night how I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of the perfunctory "how are you? I'm fine" rigamarole that is embedded in our society.
That's a half-step off what you're asking here, but to tie it in: I am not much for BS small talk. I am actually hungry for meaningful connection all the time. So if it's a stranger, I want to connect about something beautiful or awe-inspiring or a feeling we're all feeling. In NC, the classic example is I'm walking somewhere and somebody else is stopped, and they point, and there's an owl or hawk or some other bird. And we all are quiet together, watching that bird for a few moments.
This isn't what you're asking. Answer: I am pretty open & ok with vulnerability. Any genuinely curious question is welcome. Anything that has a whiff of defensiveness or hurt or anger, I back away from for my own well-being. Happy Friday!!
Hate the BS small talk too, Julia! (Side: There’s a very old New Yorker cartoon. I’m going try to find and send to you about small talk vortex which is really funny.) Your openness to any “genuinely curious” question is a gift to people around you. A small but mighty quality. Thanks for giving this to us here.
Something that happens to me very often is that folks ask me about how to cook certain foods at the grocery store. I often get asked, "Do you know if these are good apples for pie?" or something along those lines. I don't know what it is about me that gives off the impression that I know about food, but it happens all the time, and I'll be honest, I LOVE when this happens. It's funny because I do know a lot of about cooking and food. I just want to know how people KNOW this. I'm just some random person buying strawberries.
I could NOT love this more, Gloria! How fascinating that there is some foodie vibe that you give off that strangers pick up & seize on. That is *so* cool. Thanks for sharing.
So funny this is the Friday Q...I was just saying to my storytelling class last night how I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of the perfunctory "how are you? I'm fine" rigamarole that is embedded in our society.
That's a half-step off what you're asking here, but to tie it in: I am not much for BS small talk. I am actually hungry for meaningful connection all the time. So if it's a stranger, I want to connect about something beautiful or awe-inspiring or a feeling we're all feeling. In NC, the classic example is I'm walking somewhere and somebody else is stopped, and they point, and there's an owl or hawk or some other bird. And we all are quiet together, watching that bird for a few moments.
This isn't what you're asking. Answer: I am pretty open & ok with vulnerability. Any genuinely curious question is welcome. Anything that has a whiff of defensiveness or hurt or anger, I back away from for my own well-being. Happy Friday!!
Hate the BS small talk too, Julia! (Side: There’s a very old New Yorker cartoon. I’m going try to find and send to you about small talk vortex which is really funny.) Your openness to any “genuinely curious” question is a gift to people around you. A small but mighty quality. Thanks for giving this to us here.
💜 💜 💜
Something that happens to me very often is that folks ask me about how to cook certain foods at the grocery store. I often get asked, "Do you know if these are good apples for pie?" or something along those lines. I don't know what it is about me that gives off the impression that I know about food, but it happens all the time, and I'll be honest, I LOVE when this happens. It's funny because I do know a lot of about cooking and food. I just want to know how people KNOW this. I'm just some random person buying strawberries.
I could NOT love this more, Gloria! How fascinating that there is some foodie vibe that you give off that strangers pick up & seize on. That is *so* cool. Thanks for sharing.