“I wanted to get at the unholy alliance of what we love even as it makes us squeamish,” says cultural critic Margo Jefferson here in 2022, talking about her memoir, Deconstructing a Nervous System.
Squeamish (adjective): 1. easily nauseated : queasy; affected with nausea. 2. excessively fastidious or scrupulous in conduct or belief. So…huh? How can nausea and adoration co-exist?
They exist in the grey area of the “yes/and”: the space where two things can be true. We can love Michael Jackson’s music and be disgusted by the abuse he perpetrated against young boys. This “unholy alliance” as Jefferson calls it, can be hard to reconcile. But in true Jefferson fashion, she leads with “I” in Deconstructing, as she does in her first memoir, Negroland talking about her love of author Willa Cather (a big “yes”) and Cather’s “white skin fetishism which…leaves a lack of space for Black characters. #WritingGoals - be as brave as Margo Jefferson.
I finished 13,000 words of a very rough draft of my memoir over the #1000DaysofSummer sprint that happened a few weeks ago and in those pages, i also considered my own unholy alliance: someone I loved raped me. Yes, I once loved him and he also raped me.
Another unholy alliance: my adoration for Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind. I first read Gone With The Wind in sixth grade and Scarlett fascinated me. Then I saw the movie and swooned even more. The dresses, her flashing eyes, daring and resilience. Pointy chin jutted as she responds in a honeyed voice or a tart tone, Scarlett is no one to mess with.
But I also know GWTW is very problematic, particularly in its depictions of enslaved people. Yes, I love this character and this character also owned people and didn’t think twice about how she treated them.
This #FridayQuestion is a hard one I know, but if you feel inclined*… What do you love even though it makes you squeamish?
*and of course always fine to DM or email me, to keep anonymous. :-)
Midnight in Paris, by Woody Allen. I cannot stand the guy, for more than the reasons you'd guess. And that film got me right in the gut.
Great example. And I feel you, Julia! My mother loved the movie, Radio Days, and I do too. But also classic Woody Allen.
Love Actually. I watch it every year while wrapping gifts at Christmas (a holiday I mostly despise).
OMG! Yes, Hillary. Thanks for sharing that one here!