Jessica, most healthcare providers are not familiar with “the associated symptoms” of sexual abuse.

Folks who have suffered from trauma are told all the time to forget it, to “move on”, to “toughen up” as you mention or offered another…

Jessica, most healthcare providers are not familiar with “the associated symptoms” of sexual abuse. Most have had no training on how to identify or respond to sexual abuse. They would not connect common side affects like a low milk supply, disassociation during labor or even vaginismus with sexual abuse. But they would also not connect more well-known chronic conditions like obesity or diabetes — even heart disease! — with sexual abuse. They do not get this information in medical school or nursing school. Because sexual abuse is such a scary conversation, something as small as a provider asking can be a trust builder between patient and provider.

Folks who have suffered from trauma are told all the time to forget it, to “move on”, to “toughen up” as you mention or offered another unnecessarily cruel response. Abuse survivors are more likely to be folks from historically or economically marginalized populations; their experiences are already often minimized or discounted! What they need — what most of us need — is to receive more kindness. A great place to learn more about the power of empathy is Dr Bruce Perry and Maia Szalovitz’s book, Born for Love.

Based on what I have seen and heard over the years, we can also use more empathy, not less. Not just from our providers but from each other.